Monday, May 11, 2009

The Worst & Best Mother's Day EVER!

Let me just start off by saying "Mother's Day", and "Father's Day" days are OVER RATED. We need to celebrate Moms and Dads EVERYDAY!
My Mother's Day started on Saturday night while putting Melanie to bed. I asked for a kiss and what I got in return just melted my heart. I got 2 tiny little hands on my cheeks and several half open mouthed kisses with laughter! Then a "Nigh, Nigh, Momma." After that, I laid on the couch to cuddle with Kyle and watch Fantastic 4. I then went to bed, only to wake-up and work on Mother's Day. By, the way, I worked on Saturday too.
Anyway, I got up to have my coffee and received a very cute homemade card from Kyle & Melanie. Kyle wrote me a poem and Duane helped Melanie make a colorful hand print. Earlier in the week I also received a CD of Kyle's chiore singing "You Are My Sunshine" to all the kids' Mommies. Absolutely LOVED that! But back to the card. Instead of feeling joy and happiness for such a thoughtful gift, I felt GUILT, SADNESS, FRUSTRATION, ANGER, AND JEALOUSY. Kyle wrote a very cute poem with my name, and a few things he was Thankful for. That's what made me so emotional. He thanked me for "making dinner on the weekdays." Now I KNOW I may be blowing this out of proportion-but, Kyle is 10, & I think he gets it. I "only" make dinner on the weekdays because lately I'm at work on the weekends. I'm NOT a stay-at-home-mom, I want to be, but I'm not. I go to work on the weekends, so I don't have to put my kids in daycare. In return I get less "WHOLE family time", and almost zero husband time. I don't want to be a "Weekday SAHW&MOM". I want to be a FULL-TIME WIFE & MOM. Well, what I want & what I can accomplish are slightly different. I have to go back to work-part-time. With Duane's pay cut, and more lay-offs in his company, I must continue to work. And I will ONLY work on the weekends. No day care for my Melanie and no "Latch-Key kid" for Kyle. However, I AM NOT working all weekend long anymore! I've only done it 3 times, but that is more than enough to continue to make us realize that my place is at home. And I am so LUCKY & PROUD to have a husband that agrees! I feel lucky to have a husband that misses me when I'm not home. There is nothing like feeling WANTED & NEEDED by your family.
This is how I spent my Mother's Day. I worked with a Special Needs little boy-a near drowning victim at the age of 19 months (Melanie's age). His Mom had to work today too. Sad isn't it? He's a victim of lack of supervision around a pool, a victim of divorce, and a victim of his mom "having to work" to make ends meet. Kind of helps put your own life into perspective. I want to be HOME. So, in between administering my nursing duties, I took time out to make this Mom feel important on her Mother's Day. I cleaned her kitchen. Believe me it needed it! And my biggest accomplishment of the day-I started and finished Dr. Laura's new book "In Praise of Stay-at-Home-Moms. What a GOOD book! Of course I cried. I laughed too. But, really I CRIED. This book REALLY confirms what I feel I need to do as a MOM & WIFE. I need to be home with my family taking care of my own kids and husband. I miss them. I feel empty when I'm away from them for a long period of time. My family feels the same. Well, NO MORE WORKING FULL WEEKENDS. Duane & I re-evaluated our budget(for the billionth time!)and well, NO MORE CELL PHONE for me, NO MORE NEWSPAPER DELIVERY, and who knows what else we'll be able to cut! All we know is that I'm not working more than I half too!
For a long time my Mom and Dad-Tim, were the Heros in my life. But now, as expected my Husband Duane is the Hero in my life. Daune is so great with me. I KNOW he is my soul mate, just like I KNOW I'm supposed to be home with my family. I can be such an emotional roller coaster sometimes and he just KNOWS how to handle me. I'm lucky to have found such a great, kind, patient, hardworking MAN. I AM MY KIDS MOM, AND MY HUSBANDS WIFE! Happy Mother's Day.

3 comments:

Lori said...

Yeah, it's not about just the actual Mother's Day. It's how you are treated as a wife and mother as a whole. I'm very blessed! That was so nice of you to clean that mom's kitchen! I'm not surprised you did that. You diverted your sad feelings into something productive. Excellent choice! I'm glad you and Duane figured out your budget again. It's not forever, it's for now. I'm impressed you finished Dr. Laura's book! I'm only half way through. Love you!

Anonymous said...

I have a knot in my throat right now. Your and Duane's desire to TRY so hard to keep your priorites in order is a tear-jerker. Most moms and dads would just say, "well, we have no other choice but for someone else to watch our child(ren), We both 'have' to work." The fact that you cancelled your cell phone and newspaper SHOWS that you both value FAMILY above "stuff." That's a decision you'll still be proud of when you're 80!! And what an example of FAMILY values you are imparting to Kyle & Melanie! When times get tough, you're taking actions to make sure your family is weathered against the storm. I'm really proud of you and all your hardwork to put your FAMILY FIRST!!
-Beka =)

candicebishop said...

Wow, I think that's wonderful. How selfless and kind of you to make that other mom's day like that, helping her out. And I can say I know exactly how you are feeling about the financial struggle and the absolute NEED to stay at home. Its invaluable. We struggle with that all the time, and I'm about to start taking classes towards my teacher certification with "plans" to work next fall teaching, but I'm still praying that God will pull through for us in providing a way for me to wait still a little bit longer. I cry nearly every time I think about it. Its got to be so hard. But I truly admire all you do for your family. You can see your values and heart are right in the right spot. You are a wonderful mommy.