Blessings

Even before I knew what to pray for or how to be in life God knew. HE knew what I needed and what was written in my heart. I believe God gave all of my children and my husband to me for a purpose.

 

-Kyle was given to me to help teach me to grow up, mature, become responsible and do something respectable with life. He was my angel in a dark hour. I wasn't acting very responsibly nor was I doing anything productive before Kyle came along. Although it took me a few years, without Kyle in my life to be responsible for I have NO idea where I'd be now. That is truly a blessing.

 

-Melanie was gifted to me to teach me about the kind of mama I was capable of becoming. To teach me optimism, kindness, how to be open minded and flexible. Forgiveness. To teach me about Jesus. To teach me what the most important things in life really are. It's not stuff.

 

-I don't know how long I've been asking for this in heart and out loud in prayer, but patience is what I've always needed and longed for.  I still need it.  I've been asking God for patience for a long time.  I've been asking God for another baby for a long time.  Ever since I really learned about adoption through my very special friend Rebekah, I've been asking God to help me "help the least of these."  Asking him what my part could be?  Would it be to adopt, to financially support them through donations either via orphanage or someone raising money to step out in the unknown and adopt or just emotionally support people and encourage the ones that have the courage to step out in faith and do what God has asked?  God has a plan for me and I want to know what that plan is.  Then July 28th., I saw the pregnancy test that would change my (our) life.  God answered (1 of) my prayer(s)!!!!  I was going to have another baby.  Whoop, whoop!!!

 

-When Sean was born I was scared.  I was shocked.  I was sad.  I was mad (mostly at my midwife).  None of that was because he was diagnosed with Down Syndrome.  It was because he was whisked away nearly after birth and would be transferred to a Children's Hospital.  We would not be bonding or nursing or cuddling or smelling each other, looking at one another.  We wouldn't be doing either of those things.  At least not right away.  It was because he had to have abdominal surgery for his Duodenal Atresia.  It wasn't until Sean came home that I started to be wary of my abilities of parenting a Down's baby.  Just because I'm a pediatric nurse for Special Needs, doesn't mean I know what I'm doing with my own Special Needs child.  :-)

But here is where I remember that God is looking out for me and has my best interest at heart, and this is the path I'm supposed to be on.  Down Syndrome children require patience.  They require optimism, flexibility, open-mindedness.  And of course kindness.  Also, children with Down Syndrome are often discarded, not wanted, terminated or put up for adoption.  Can you believe it?  They are deemed one of "the least of these."  He gifted me with one of "the least of these." I can not believe how much God has enriched and blessed my life.  I am not even worthy.  Although for some reason He thinks I am.  God has answered my prayers.  He does listen.  He may not do it the way you want it or put you on the path you think you should be on and you may not understand the "why".  But, He knows what He's doing.  He doesn't make mistakes.  God listens.  God loves.   Even when I was a little girl, I can remember asking Him to give me a good husband.   Not really knowing what "good" means.  But I do now.  Where would I be without Duane?

I am so grateful.

 

 

I must say, although the good Lord has not actually given me patience, he has put things in my path for me to learn patience. What a neat idea! It makes me appreciate it all the more.